One Last Dance

So I went to a high school dance last week...NOT as a chaperon.

Even while writing it, I still don't believe it.

I better give some background. I'm 26 yrs old and attending a university student ward (congregation) of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (LDS or Mormons). There is a program within the church where members visit other members to share with them a gospel message, get to know them better and help them feel more welcomed and loved. This program is called Home Teaching. I was home teaching a 20 year old young woman in my ward. As I was about to leave, I asked her a question that most people ask at the end of a home teaching visit, "Is there anything I can do for you or help you with?" She thought for a minute and said, "Actually..." She went on to explain that she would be going the next weekend to the homecoming dance with a group of people and that there was a girl that she would like to have join the group, but the girl needed someone to go with. I said that I was willing to go. I was aware that homecoming activities were going on, I had just gone to the University of Utah homecoming game the day before, and was not too surprised at the request. As she continued to explain the details, there was a moment where horror struck me. I quickly said, "Oh, you mean VIEWMONT's homecoming?!?" I had incorrectly assumed that she was referring to the U of U homecoming or Weber State's. I had no idea that she was referring to a high school dance. Not only that, but MY former high school, Viewmont. When I was in high school, I always thought it rather strange when I saw people that had graduated the year before go to the homecoming dance the following year (let alone 7 years after graduating!). I could never imagine myself doing that. Why would anyone go back once they were graduated? I will tell you why: Home Teaching.

It turns out that the girl that I would be taking had had a brain tumor and undergone numerous surgeries on her head and on the limbs on the left side of her body. Due to the tumor, her left side had been somewhat paralyzed and her muscles were left very tight. The surgeries on her limbs were done to alleviate the tension. They involved the cutting and rearranging of tendons, among other things. The tumor and her surgeries kept her at home for most of high school as well as left her self conscious about her remaining paralysis. These factors have kept her out of the social scene for some time now. Her friend wanted this girl, who had been through so much, to get out and enjoy a high school dance. It was an experience that she was never able to have while in high school and I was lucky enough to play a part in giving her that experience.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, as embarrassing and strange as it was for me to go back, I reached a point where I didn't really care that a few younglings that I knew thought it was funny that I was there. When the cause is great enough, the definition of sacrifice losses it's very meaning and ceases to be.

I like games

An anonymous person commented on my last post saying that I need to write more. This one's for you anonymous commenter!

I am 26 years old. I feel that I have done amazingly well at staying out of relationships. While I do not consider this an accomplishment, my lack of effort in this area has surprised even myself. It wasn't until about a year ago that I started making what anyone might consider an effort. I had no drive before that point.

I have been in two relationships since then. It has fascinated me how the two of them have ended. The first was a relationship with a long time friend. Even with friendship as a basis (admittedly a shallow one), that relationship was doomed to failure thanks to a lack of communication and an amazing degree of incompatibility. Despite our differences, ending that relationship was hard on me. It had meant a lot to me.

The relationship that currently intrigues me the most has been the one I have most recently ended. Unlike the first, I cannot think of any major areas of incompatibility or hang-ups. I went out with her a couple of times a week for over a month. We have similar tastes and interests, similar goals... She seemed to be smitten by me and I couldn't help but feel like I should have been smitten in return. I just wasn't. I ended the relationship last Friday, not because of difficulties and differences, but rather INdifference.

I find it interesting that it can be difficult to end a relationship with someone that just isn't that right for me and then have no problem ending a relationship with someone that seems to fit me very well.

This blog feels a little uninspired, but it's what has been on my mind lately.